It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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