What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
vagina is talking i cant
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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