How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
