we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
