I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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