Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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