My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
