Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
