school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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