He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
wow bdsm is so cute
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
