i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
