so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
