During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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