I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
