I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize