please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
