He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
