If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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