My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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