Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
