if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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