im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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