I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
