Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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