is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
