The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
