sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
