she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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