What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
