You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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