hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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