i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
