I just made out with a guy for $7.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
