im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
