i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
