Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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