what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
