Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
