Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh god the rape fog is back!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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