Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
