we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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