I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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