Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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