Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
