Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
