its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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