Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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