just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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