i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
