I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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