You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
