would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize