I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
