I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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