Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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