Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
