and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
