respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
