You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
