It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
false alarm, still single
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