Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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