Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
