i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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