i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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