she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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