I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
